Monday, January 24, 2005
Traits of a lemming
Maybe it's true, maybe it's fate, maybe I was "born with it".
But I've been driven(or driving myself) up the wall pretty much lately, to such an extent that I was really thinking up thoughts of suicide, of blinking ending it all once and for all.
I was kinda orchestrating all of it in my mind really, it started off with just thinking of how if I should just happen to be knocked down by a car, struck by lightening, suffer a brain hemorrhage or something (the latter having the highest possibility since I had a migraine that lasted the whole of saturday through mid sunday) that I wouldn't want to live after that and be some vegetables. This led to me thinking I should get one of those DNR cards, so I know I'll definately spare the family of at least making regular hospital vists and talking to a comatose body. Anybody knows if they're actually valid in Singapore or how does one get one?
[Update]
Manage to find some info regarding DNR in Singapore. Seems that it was adopted in May 1996 but in a limited sense...I actually have to be severely ill before being even offered the choice and the DNR status is reviewed daily by accessing condition of the patient. Sheesh, why can't I do it NOW, when I am obviously competent enough to make the decision NOW. This is Singapore, we're supposed to pre-empt things yeah?!
http://www.sma.org.sg/whatsnew/ethics/ethicsNov02/3advanceCare/4LimBL.ppt
http://www.sma.org.sg/smj/3910/articles/3910a4.html
[/Update]
Of course, with my recent housekeeping, I've realised that I have yet to make a CPF nomiation, or whether that will I drafted in secondary school is still lying around somewhere. (If anyone's taking notes, I think I might have one stuck behind the notice board in my room).
Am I ready to go outta this world, or do I still have lose ends to tie?
Don't know why I'm pursueing all these, well actually I do, there are lotsa reasons and being at home aint helping very much.
My life seems to be crumbling around me, slowly but surely, I think things will just reach a point that it'll snap.
Will I be able to last another year overseas?
Maybe all lemmings have sucidal tendencies, I might not be such a freak of nature afterall.
But I've been driven(or driving myself) up the wall pretty much lately, to such an extent that I was really thinking up thoughts of suicide, of blinking ending it all once and for all.
I was kinda orchestrating all of it in my mind really, it started off with just thinking of how if I should just happen to be knocked down by a car, struck by lightening, suffer a brain hemorrhage or something (the latter having the highest possibility since I had a migraine that lasted the whole of saturday through mid sunday) that I wouldn't want to live after that and be some vegetables. This led to me thinking I should get one of those DNR cards, so I know I'll definately spare the family of at least making regular hospital vists and talking to a comatose body. Anybody knows if they're actually valid in Singapore or how does one get one?
[Update]
Manage to find some info regarding DNR in Singapore. Seems that it was adopted in May 1996 but in a limited sense...I actually have to be severely ill before being even offered the choice and the DNR status is reviewed daily by accessing condition of the patient. Sheesh, why can't I do it NOW, when I am obviously competent enough to make the decision NOW. This is Singapore, we're supposed to pre-empt things yeah?!
http://www.sma.org.sg/whatsnew/ethics/ethicsNov02/3advanceCare/4LimBL.ppt
http://www.sma.org.sg/smj/3910/articles/3910a4.html
[/Update]
Of course, with my recent housekeeping, I've realised that I have yet to make a CPF nomiation, or whether that will I drafted in secondary school is still lying around somewhere. (If anyone's taking notes, I think I might have one stuck behind the notice board in my room).
Am I ready to go outta this world, or do I still have lose ends to tie?
Don't know why I'm pursueing all these, well actually I do, there are lotsa reasons and being at home aint helping very much.
My life seems to be crumbling around me, slowly but surely, I think things will just reach a point that it'll snap.
Will I be able to last another year overseas?
Maybe all lemmings have sucidal tendencies, I might not be such a freak of nature afterall.
Comments:
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don't die yet! you'd want to stick around - the end of the world is coming, and you wouldn't wanna miss living out the big time movie scenes of destruction and catastrophy!
okay... cheer up mate, it's tough but keep going if you'r going thru hell and soon you'd see the lights at the end of the tunnel and i promise i won't be the one driving the train.. just joking..
if it can't get any worse, it'd only get better! up, up and away! dark wingggggg duck!
okay... cheer up mate, it's tough but keep going if you'r going thru hell and soon you'd see the lights at the end of the tunnel and i promise i won't be the one driving the train.. just joking..
if it can't get any worse, it'd only get better! up, up and away! dark wingggggg duck!
oh, once again! i am the duckness that quacks in the night, i am the dimwit that farts when in fright! i am... darkkk wingggg *poof*
eh.. dun noe if i'd sounded abit insensitive but the 2 dark wing duckkkieee posts are meant to tickle..
i too, have questioned the meaning of life and living, and too often, the lack-thereof.. but then again..
singing to the tune of u2 - 'it's just a moment, this time will pass..'
i too, have questioned the meaning of life and living, and too often, the lack-thereof.. but then again..
singing to the tune of u2 - 'it's just a moment, this time will pass..'
Heh thanks so much guys!
One of my down days I guess, great to know I have such "adoring" friends, erm I mean fans? =P
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One of my down days I guess, great to know I have such "adoring" friends, erm I mean fans? =P
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